I've been trying to figure out in better detail how to explain the constant battle I've had with my ex over the past couple of years regarding our co-parenting difficulties. He has a very smooth passive/aggressive style about him that could be considered ingenious if no one was injured in the process. Unfortunately though, the side effects have been painful for my children and myself, and ultimately for him as well. I knew what he was doing wasn't good for the kids, and even felt it to be controlling and like a bully. But now I know his behaviors put together are called... Hostile Aggressive Parenting, also know as HAP.
Since our divorce, and especially since he has remarried, he has made several attempts to minimize my role in my daughters' lives. What has made matters worse has been his current wife's willingness to collude with his agenda, therefore engaging in behaviors that encourage the demise of my relationship with my daughters. It's a frustrating situation that has caused real struggles for the kids.
If you're or someone you know is experiencing a possible parent alienation case, but don't find the kids responding to such an extreme level, then you may be dealing with someone who is engaging in HAP. The link below is a good resource for those who want to learn more about HAP. There is even an evaluation form to help decipher the severity, if any, of HAP.
http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/what_is_Hostile_Aggressive_Parenting.asp
The more we know, the better we can help HAP cases from turning into PAS (Parent Alienation Syndrome) cases. Let's not forget the importance of the best interest of our children.
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